Saturday, September 29, 2007

homemade pie...

If you go down to the woods today, You're sure of a big surprise
If you go down to the woods today, You'd better go in disguise.

I take the boy for a walk every morning 6;45am to the gully.
A stream carries the water down from the mountains and runs through the
gully. It also carries bears, l see their blackberry filled scat, like a big
homemade pie. People go to the gully to drink, and smoke, l see their
empty cans, and their empty soiled pants. People sleep in
the gully, there are now two tents, trying hard to hide behind bushes but
standing out like safety pins. There is also a couple of people sleeping
under the stars, sleeping under the clouds, a blanket thrown over them
like their dead. I go by every morning and wave and say "good morning".
He raises his sleepy arm, his heavy drowsy head and
waves back, "good morning".

For ev'ry bear that ever there was, Will gather there for certain, because
Today's the day the Teddy Bears have their picnic.

Friday, September 07, 2007

breathing heavy...

The seasons can turn on a dime,
Somehow I forget every time;
These things you've given me
They always will stay
They're broken... but I'll never throw them away

...these are Sunshine's goats. beautiful animals, they seem so clever, almost tricky

...this one reminds me of coming home from school and watching
"The Flying Nun" everyday.

Martha had goats too...
I use to visit Martha, she lived on many acres in Bowser and
she had many goats. She was in her eighties, out digging in her vast garden,
herding her goats, tending her chickens, chopping her wood. I can't describe her
place, nor her, but it was so complete, "quality without a name".
Her beautiful old sheds and outbuildings, turned silver with age, dancing like.,
her knarly old fruit trees breathing heavy, the soil in her garden
you could smell the richness from the highway. And Martha, silver too, like
the wood, her eyes still bright and filled with want.
I heard from Sunshine that Martha is in a home now.
It seems so wrong, so sad, Martha should be on her land, she should
have died there on her land,in her garden, with her goats.

Maybe when our story's over
We'll go where it's always spring
The band is playing our song again
And all the world is green

involuntary stay...

...dreamt that Paula sent me a note telling me that she had
bad pneumonia and then went on to tell me that love
wasn't about loving the other person lots
but about loving yourself lots.
( journal-sept2000)

Clayton just got out of a involuntary stay in the psych ward. He looks
hollow, sunken, his skin sits on his face like a rubber mask.
I've seen Clayton frequently over the last few months. He gets
angry sometimes, paranoid thinking that everyone is staring at him
He came by one night, angry, angry at his ex girlfriend for not letting
him get his stuff, angry at people who owed him money. I'm patient
with Clayton but his anger made me angry. "Don't bring your
anger here", l said. He followed me into the house, gave me a hug
and started crying.