cap in hand...

There is a mystery too deep for words;

the silence of the dead comes nearer to it,
being wisest in the end. What word shall
hold the sorrow sitting at the heart of things.
The majesty and patience of the truth.
Silence will serve; it is an older tongue:
The empty room, the moonlight on the wall.
Speak for the unreturning traveller.
-john hall wheelock



For a handful of years in the nineties l worked with people
who needed assistance. The first job was in a woodworking
day program. I loved that job. A group of men, a pile of tools,
we made picnic tables, doll houses, and little wooden nicknacks
that have probably ended up inthrift stores. My favorite person
was Bob, Bob couldn'tspeak but knew a few signs. One of them
was "fish",which we all practiced because he could sort of say the
word. The sign was wiggling your hand back and forth,like a
snake, or like a belly dancer on her side.Then l worked in the
semi independant living program,these guys lived on their own
and l was there to offer assistance with, well you know, life skills.

Kevin...
I liked kevin, he was funny and he seemed to enjoy my company.
My boss always seemed more concerned about kevin's hygene, and
whether or not his dishes were done, but l kind of felt it more
important to go fishing. We would drive up the old northwest
bay logging road, a secret little lake that made you feel holy. We
would cast off of shore, worms and bobbins, catching fist size trout.
Keving was stubborn, when they discovered that he had diabetes,
well it was very rough on him. FIfty years of drinking soda pop and
licking dairy's cone and suddenly your suppose to eat like a bunny, it
was tough. A couple years later, riding his bike on a beautiful sunny
day, Kevin suffered a heart attack and died.


Lori...
Lori was tough, strong and would always help you if you needed.
He liked to collect things, lots of things, bikes, cars, radio's, tv's, any
thing you could take apart, he was like the guy from "back to the
future". Lori had an unkemptness to him that was appealing. One
year l offered him a shed in my yard, "a place to store a few things",
It didn't take long...he filled it to the roof, he circled the shed with
broken cars, and late at night, when even the owls close their eyes, l
would sometimes hear loud voices. I thought maybe Orson Welles was
right and it was the war of the worlds but no it was just Lori and his
coat hanger wrapped cracklin radio.



I also worked with the beautiful Hugh and have written
about him before, here...




I just want to feel "right as rain"

"Of course compassion condones suffering
in that it recognizes,
yes, suffering is life."
-j campbell


fern and gary...



------------------------------


"Sexual intimacy begins with acknowledgment of and respect for
the mystery and madness of the others sexuality, for it is only
in mystery and madness that soul is revealed."
-t.moore


Brenda and Alan...
Like two different flowers, on two different seasons, one open, one closed.



Alan is fast, quick, they use to call him "speedy". He had spent
some time at Tranquille before they closed down, and like any big
institution, it probably left a imprint. Brenda was softer, slower,
steadier perhaps, they made a good pair.




I photographed their wedding...




I took Alan and Brenda everywhere, camping, hotels in the
big city, art shows, walkabouts... I don't know what l was trying
to do, l guess l thought it was useful, important, real.





This next image got me into a lot of trouble...


...now you can whip me or love me, l've battled it in my head,
but there is no right, no wrong.
Brenda and Alan trusted me, they invited me in, l wanted to
acknowledge this, to acknowledge their intimacy, their love...




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a little extra time, check markmaker India Flint

goodbye


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