cedar...

With all beings and all things
we shall be as relatives.

-sioux

the orange chair...

art is a burning bush that both shelters
and makes visible our profounder longings.
-j.winterson



...the orange chair has been with me for a decade and some.
It is a dear old friend because of the memories buried deep in its grain, in the layers of paint.
mike labrie had it first...back in 1995


after mike died l received the chair, well the orange chair and his sewing machine.
the chair still stands, the sewing machine still sews

...years later while wandering around the streets of victoria l heard some shouting
crossing the street l find Alister sitting cross legged on the sidewalk
I asked him what he was shouting about...



I did a painting of Alister ("alister starbuck and his book of revelations")
Near the bottom left l put a color print of the orange chair.
I ran into alister a year or so later and he asked me why l put a picture of a chair in the painting.
"...a place for you to sit" l told him

the chair sits in our kitchen now, every now and then l am reminded of its power.

"Places which are comfortable are comfortable because
they have no inner contradictions,
because there is no little restlessness
disturbing them."

(timeless way of building)

bone of winter...

I prefer winter and fall, when you feel
the bone structure in the landscape
-the loneliness of it -
the dead feeling of winter.
Something waits beneath it -
the whole story doesn't show.

-andrew wyeth

dying with love...

"In uncertainty l am certain that underneath their topmost layers of fraility
men want ot be good and want to be loved. Indeed most of their vices
are attempted short cuts to love. When a man comes to die, no matter
what his talents and influence and genius, if he dies unloved his life
must be a failure to him and his dying a cold horror. It seems to me
that if you or l must choose between two courses of thought or action,
we should remember our dying and try to live that our death
brings no pleasure to the world."

-john steinbeck (east of eden)

dancing and smoking...

we were dancin' in the slaughterhouse
If you swing along the beltway
then you skid along the all day
cause I went a little crazy
and I sat upon a high chair
And I'm smokin like a diesel
way out here
Blow wind blow...
-tomwaits

My tobacco smells like chocolate.
Every 12 hours l sit outside and smoke my pipe. At night l hear the
dogs bark and in the morning l hear the crows caw.
These pages are so constrained, so tight, l want to just
scribble and stratch like a kid, tear a hole in these pages.
Maybe it's because l went to a dance tonight,
dancers from the east coast, made me feel glorious.
Made amy dance in the house, she looked so beautiful...

baseball cards...

...more about my baseball cards later.

love and a rusty axe...

I wanna believe
In the mercy of the world again
Make it rain
Make it rain
-tomwaits



I have been repairing, rebuilding my fence...
old wood, all wet, some rotten, using logs amy and l pulled from the beach,
some too long so had to take a rusty axe and chop them in half.
There is something wonderful about all of this, building,
adding layer on layer, like art, like life, like love...

Black Beach...

...and then l asked him with my eyes to ask again yes
and then he asked me would l yes...
and first l put my arms around him yes
and drew him down to me so he could feel my breasts all perfume yes
and his heart was going like mad
and yes l said yes l will yes.
-jamesjoyce

making promises...

I am leaving now, l am going to make some promises, some promises of love...

spitting off the bridge to see how far it is...

Thank you C.C.

when l am a man...

When l am a man, then l shall be a hunter
When l am a man, then l shall be a harpooner
When l am a man, then l shall be a canoe-builder
When l am a man, then l shall be a carpenter
When l am a man, then l shall be a artisan
Oh father! ya ha ha ha
-Kwakiutl Indian (from The Family of Man)

---

...sometimes l remember that there is magic and mystery to this world.

canadian tire revisited...

well you're high on top
of your mountain of woe
come on up to the house
well you know you should surrender
but you can't let go
you gotta come on up to the house
-tomwaits



...in case you've forgotten to lick the stamps.
my canadian tire monies art-trade

every saturday night...

I let the dog out
But he didn't come back
Stood on the corner until
My feet got wet
-tomwaits



This is Huey.
I've known him since 1993, use to chop his firewood back then.
and sometimes he would get me to fix something at Muriels.
Muriel is his girlfriend and he calls her "girl".
Huey has the most patience l have ever seen, Muriel doesn't.
I remember driving them both to Calgary one year.
Took us all day and all night and Muriel got very tired.



I have done three paintings of huey.
He is a beautiful man.



and he gave me a ring
that was worn by his mother
and he takes me out dancin
every saturday night.
-tomwaits

this moment...

This moment is all there is
-rumi

Inconsistency...

Mike. Doesn't work for me anymore.
I'm too old now.
I get to wonder about tomorrow, will it ever come?

Ken. Why do you say that?

Mike. Inconsistency of living. Do you ever think of that? Inconsistency?
I came here thirty years ago.
My brother told me l'm lucky to have a place like this or something like that.
Thiry years.
I've got little or nothing to show for it.
I just dig out some damned old junk from the refrigerator,
whatever the hell l can find to eat.
And then l go to bed.
Eat and sleep.
Sleep is my narcotic.
To forget the past. Forget the future.